Another nasty habit in addition to checking political blogs…watching the entire SEX AND THE CITY DVDs after work time. I guess this is a symptom of post-election something. As much as I enjoyed the series [on DVD because I don’t do cable], over the years, the 30-something (plus one 40 something) single woman angst is starting to make my stomach turn. [And it was never post-racial.] The show celebrated the friendship between Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda, it also exploited or indulged their insecurities maybe even exposed them or ours. One of my NYC friends once reminded me that the series was a NYC single woman’s myth to lure career and husband bound 20 somethings into the glam fantasy of city life on a charge card.
I wonder how Carrie and Big are doing in this economy as writers are being laid off from newspapers, even popular web publications like Gawker.com; and over 20,000 Wall Street masters of the universe were handed the paper pink slip and a box to carry their belongings these past months. Can Carrie and Big manage Carrie’s credit card debts? For some reason I was always counting Carrie’s money. How many properties will Big have to sell off to hang on to Carrie’s shoe closet? I digress.
The Loneliness Myth – I gave this New York magazine cover story by Jennifer Senior a serious read over the weekend. Before getting to the next page I learn 1 of every 2 New Yorkers live alone. Does this sound like a Tracy Chapman song?
I can’t remember any particular time or occasion I have felt solid lonely or maybe I have selective memory. I’ve travelled alone and always managed to make new friends as well as have a list of friends’ friends to look up. I’ve gone to movies alone. Worked alone. Ate alone. Drank alone. Now that I think about it, I’ve felt the loneliest in the most social of social situations like dance clubs, or parties where I didn’t know anyone. Which is ironic that in the one situation where you’re expected to meet and greet, you prefer not to do it on your own. But wait. I did go to the Racialicious meet-up at Chi Cha Lounge. Knew no body. I met Latoya Peterson (blogger), her husband and other bloggers. Enjoyed a pomegranate mojito at the bar (recommended!). I learned I wasn’t the only one having trouble managing my blogging time. Could’ve had a second mojito but I had to move on to another party – a launch at Jin Lounge. Met old friends. Networking was encouraged. Speaking of which, here’s an email I got today (as a playwright, I’m posting to support):
Let me know if you can join me on Wednesday, December 10th, 2008 at 7:00 p.m. at the Atlas Performing Arts Center, 1333 H Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002 for a reading of my play-in-progress Fly, Yellow Bird – a provocative and personified take on the conscious and subconscious realities of a young woman trying to make a decision.
The evening starts with light food and refreshments from 7 – 7:45 and is followed by the reading directed by Barra Kahn and an audience feedback session that will be moderated by dramaturg Barbara Worth. Of course, it’s free to attend, but donations and your feedback are welcome.
I hadn’t thought about loneliness until the New York magazine showed up in my mailbox. The women in “The View” gave a preview a few days before.
Fortunately, the magazine article has a silver lining. Being alone and loneliness are not the same. All relationships count for something. People matter. If they’re not toxic they can be quite healthy in doses. In fact I remember Toni Morrison reflecting on her mother’s advice – “Don’t go anywhere where you don’t have people.” People are family, friends, BFFs, life loves, connections. I’ve never been anywhere where I didn’t have people.
But myth or reality, loneliness still remains an unwelcomed guest.