Eclectique|916

Another nasty habit in addition to checking political blogs…watching the entire SEX AND THE CITY DVDs after work time. I guess this is a symptom of post-election something. As much as I enjoyed the series [on DVD because I don't do cable], over the years, the 30-something (plus one 40 something) single woman angst is starting to make my stomach turn. [And it was never post-racial.] The show celebrated the friendship between Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda, it also exploited or indulged their insecurities maybe even exposed them or ours. One of my NYC friends once reminded me that the series was a NYC single woman’s myth to lure career and husband bound 20 somethings into the glam fantasy of city life on a charge card.

I wonder how Carrie and Big are doing in this economy as writers are being laid off from newspapers, even popular web publications like Gawker.com; and over 20,000 Wall Street masters of the universe were handed the paper pink slip and a box to carry their belongings these past months. Can Carrie and Big manage Carrie’s credit card debts? For some reason I was always counting Carrie’s money. How many properties will Big have to sell off to hang on to Carrie’s shoe closet? I digress.

The Loneliness Myth - I gave this New York magazine cover story by Jennifer Senior a serious read over the weekend. Before getting to the next page I learn 1 of every 2 New Yorkers live alone. Does this sound like a Tracy Chapman song?

I can’t remember any particular time or occasion I have felt solid lonely or maybe I have selective memory. I’ve travelled alone and always managed to make new friends as well as have a list of friends’ friends to look up. I’ve gone to movies alone. Worked alone. Ate alone. Drank alone. Now that I think about it, I’ve felt the loneliest in the most social of social situations like dance clubs, or parties where I didn’t know anyone. Which is ironic that in the one situation where you’re expected to meet and greet, you prefer not to do it on your own. But wait. I did go to the Racialicious meet-up at Chi Cha Lounge. Knew no body. I met Latoya Peterson (blogger), her husband and other bloggers. Enjoyed a pomegranate mojito at the bar (recommended!). I learned I wasn’t the only one having trouble managing my blogging time. Could’ve had a second mojito but I had to move on to another party - a launch at Jin Lounge. Met old friends. Networking was encouraged. Speaking of which, here’s an email I got today (as a playwright, I’m posting to support):

Let me know if you can join me on Wednesday, December 10th, 2008 at 7:00 p.m. at the Atlas Performing Arts Center, 1333 H Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002 for a reading of my play-in-progress Fly, Yellow Bird - a provocative and personified take on the conscious and subconscious realities of a young woman trying to make a decision.

The evening starts with light food and refreshments from 7 – 7:45 and is followed by the reading directed by Barra Kahn and an audience feedback session that will be moderated by dramaturg Barbara Worth. Of course, it’s free to attend, but donations and your feedback are welcome.

I hadn’t thought about loneliness until the New York magazine showed up in my mailbox. The women in “The View” gave a preview a few days before.

Fortunately, the magazine article has a silver lining. Being alone and loneliness are not the same. All relationships count for something. People matter. If they’re not toxic they can be quite healthy in doses. In fact I remember Toni Morrison reflecting on her mother’s advice - “Don’t go anywhere where you don’t have people.” People are family, friends, BFFs, life loves, connections. I’ve never been anywhere where I didn’t have people.

But myth or reality, loneliness still remains an unwelcomed guest.

Visit www.worldaidscampaign.org.

President-Elect Barack Obama used the Thanksgiving holiday as the theme for his weekly address. And guess what? He gives a little background history about the origins of the Thanksgiving holiday.

I didn’t plan to write several posts on the theme of family, but themes sometimes take on a life of their own. This morning, I was glued to a Today Show segment produced by Max Paul, who set out on a rescue mission to bring his Aunt Andree back to the United States. Haiti, the poorest country in the western hemisphere, has been slammed by four hurricaines in the past several months - Gustav, Fay, Hanna, Ike - leveling villages with mud, contaminated water, and leaving hundreds dead or suffering from disease and illness. Many Haitians had nothing to begin with; now they have even less.

Max’s Aunt Andree is an inspiration. This was a woman who didn’t want to be rescued because she felt she had a mission to fulfill herself. If only we had more Aunt Andrees in the world. There are probably plenty. We don’t notice the hands that hold up the sky.

How can we help?
Yele Haiti Foundation (Wyclef Jean’s group): www.yelehaiti.org
Doctors Without Borders: www.doctorswithoutborders.org

Here’s where I stand on Thanksgiving: Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s the one holiday I can feed my face with the most delicious comfort food, get together with family to share family history, stories, a few laughs, every now and then some drama which over time becomes just another page in the family comedy story. And then there’s the freedom of not having to buy, bring, and exchange gifts with the exception of something to eat. It is the one time of year, we take a real pause from our too busy lives to assess and express our gratitude for the year. Some years we have much to be grateful for; some years are bittersweet.

That said, I write this post in response to a “Community Comment” segment on WPFW FM yesterday. The question to the masses was “What does Thanksgiving mean to you?” Several callers gave chronology and history about Thanksgiving along the lines of a “Day of Genocide,” “Day of Mourning” for the Indigenous peoples of North America. They don’t subscribe to the mythology of English Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sitting peacefully side-by-side in a feast of Thanksgiving where they served the first popcorn. Truth be told, I don’t subscribe to the mythology either. But neither do I subscribe to ignoring and castigating my family who do use the holiday to gather in not just the bounty but the relations. As one caller finally chimed in, we can know the real history behind Thanksgiving, but, he said, it’s a time “I enjoy getting together with my family. We don’t have to Scroogesize it.” [I'm adding "Scroogesize" to the Eclectique916 vocabulary list.]

And what do communities that grow food to sustain life and community do after a fine harvest? They give thanks. I have family members on my father’s side who are Indigenous people. One of my cousins gave us our first taste of fresh wild turkey. He “harvested” it himself. For them, Thanksgiving is the time to celebrate the harvest.

I’m doing this informal poll with Native Americans I know, friend and family alike, asking them the same question as WPFW. “What does Thanksgiving mean to you?” No one is representing. These are all individuals and personal opinions. My friend, filmmaker Billy Luther (Navajo) did respond:
i have so much cooking to do starting tomorrow. yikes! have a wonderful day!!!
He’s looking forward to sharing his bounty with family and friends.

My sister forwarded me the newsletter from the National Museum of the American Indian which featured a schedule of Thanksgiving programs under the heading “Celebrate Thanksgiving at the National Museum of the American Indian.” November 14 and 15, the NMAI hosted a Celebrate the Harvest Family program which featured traditional food preparation techniques - a foody thing. The NMAI houses one of my favorite museum cafeterias in the world. The food at the Mitsitam Cafe is so so good. Prices are not cafeteria prices. But it’s a treat.

Another interesting link, for the history buffs, is the Plimoth Plantation museum, which is trying to be balanced about the story and even debunk some of the myths of the encounters in New England. www.plimoth.org.

I’ll see what others say on the topic, but for me, I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving, and I don’t plan to be working that day. I can tell you my own family stories of genocide and mourning. However, the best time to collect these stories is (duh) Thanksgiving when every one feels the urge to come together; a family day, straight up. I have a lot to be thankful for, and my family is one those blessings or gifts. Saturday, it’s Cosmos with the girls. Friends are a blessing too.

And for those of you who are Scroogecizing tomorrow, maybe “The Addams Family Values” DVD can sweeten your mood.

Or if you’re on-line UndercoverBlackman has some great Native American history posts on his blog.

I had Teaism with my friend Ethelbert yesterday evening. He showed me the cover art for his second memoir The 5th Inning designed by Andy Shallal (release date is in March 2009).

There’s an interesting post on the E-Notes Blog/E mag this morning: an interview with Brenda Greene, Ph.D., Professor of English and Executive Director of the Center for Black Literature at Medgar Evans College of the City University of New York.

Professor Greene talks about one of her former students Maya Soetoro-Ng, the half-sister of President-Elect Barack Obama. I hesitate to use the world half. In this case, the ties between brother and sister are strong enough to make a whole. Ms. Soetoro-Ng was named after the poet Maya Angelou, but it seems she’s the one who is making the morning call for her brother, the soon to be POTUS. Here’s what Professor Greene had to say about her enounters with Maya:

Maya had told me his name but it did not register at that time; I knew that the man whom she spoke of was doing important work and I admired that he was engaged in raising issues of pluralism and diversity. When Barack Obama spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, a former student of mine called and asked me if I had remembered Maya. “Of course.” I said. “I had always wondered what had happened to her for she had such a presence and had really helped to make the class a site of intellectual inquiry.” My student replied that Barack Obama was Maya’s brother. And I thought to myself, so he is the young man whom Maya always spoke of; he is the one whom she wanted me to meet.

Read the interview in its entirety on the E Notes Blog.

If anything else, Barack Obama’s weekly YouTube addresses sends a message that the President-Elect is on the job – Which is the topic of this week’s address: Jobs.

I’m glad they found another set and backdrop. Not quite the Oval Office….not yet. But the “Mad Men” wood paneling in the first video was just a tad tooooo retro for my taste

I’m fortunate to have a few cheap friends who hip me to bargains that please my palate and my occasional need to splurge on a small scale. Here’s your chance to submit your recommended CTs that cost $5 or less. I’m talking wholesome and legal even though I doubt anything otherwise is less than $5 these days. This is not qualified by high brow or low brow tastes as you’ll see from my three CTs.

Hey the Lincoln Bicentennial is coming up in 2009. You might walk over pennies from heaven, but a 5 could make your day.

Here are three of my CTs in DC:
The lunch special at So’s Your Mom - soup, heated bread with butter, and a slice of cheese for $3.50. This is my favorite “Depression-era” combo. My friend Jennifer hipped me to this and So’s Your Mom is right under my nose in my neighborhood. Drink is extra, but hydrate with some tap water if you care to risk it. Try the chili.
So’s Your Mom
1831 Columbia Road, NW (in Adams Morgan, DC - zip 20009)

McDonald’s Iced Coffee. Around $1.86 with tax. Okay, they hooked me on this one. Not bad. Really. Not bad at all, if you’ve got to have it. And even the 3 cookies for $1 can tame a sweet tooth. I like the chocolate chip.

A slice of pizza at Costco costs just under $2 or just under $4 with a drink). The hotdog and soda special ($1.50). You have three choices in pizza at Costco - cheese, pepperoni, and combo (with sausage, onions, pepperoni, mushroom and green peppers). The pizza slices are generous enough in size (not your monster slices to soak up a night of binge drinking). Plus you have free refills on the drinks. So even with the cost of membership (if you can get it or make it a date with a friend with a card), and a weekly Cheap Thrill, Costco still adds up as a bargain. And try to get there when they’re giving out free samples on the main floor.
Costco (my regular)
1200 S. Fern Street, Arlington, VA 22202 (Pentagon City Metro)

What’s your CT?

The one criticism I have for the “defenders of free speech” in the culture wars is that the so-called “in touch,” sophisticated, smart people don’t know how to talk to people who disagree with them on specific cultural issues - meaning civil dialogue. I’m not saying it’s easy on either side. But I have a suggestion and a tool that might break the barrier or offer some narrative vocabulary (as George Lakoff has been trying to do). Watch Filth, PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre Contemporary tv drama about the crusade of the real Mary Whitehouse (played by Julie Walters) to “Clean Up TV” as the world around her began spiraling into the free love of the 1960s.

I had no idea the Beatles “I Am the Walrus” was a dirty song. Even Mary sings “goo goo g’joob.” I’ll have to google the lyrics.

In fact, if you missed Filth Sunday, you can watch it online: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/filth/index.html

What I admire most about this film is that Whitehouse is not portrayed as a kook, idiot, extremist, or total nutcase. She is a human being with her own values and perspectives. In fact, it appeared the “defenders of free speech” in this film fit most of those other labels. Though the Director-General of the BBC, Sir Hugh Carleton Greene as played by Hugh Bonneville, may have been ahead of his time in matters of artistic expression, he forgot the old TV content question: “What would your grandmother think?” I know both sides of these content issues from personal (playwright) and professional experience (TV programming and assigning FCC ratings). But I believe the producers of the film were trying to say in their extremism, both sides can be out-of-touch with the world around them.

Mrs. Whitehouse was an art teacher and homemaker and, as seen in this film, one helluva community organizer. She mobilized a campaign that resulted in the National Viewers’and Listeners’ Association set up to monitor the BBC in 1965. It’s now known as Media Watch-UK. Mary Whitehouse died in November 2001.

Julie Walters plays Mrs. Whitehouse with crusader spunk but also with a bit of wit and an undercurrent of smart sexiness. Who knows. The pill box hat may be the new fishnet stockings. For Mrs Whitehouse, sex is a private matter sanctioned by God or tucked quietly in the hidden backrooms of the subconscious.

I’ve got to run, but two more things about Filth: the film is a comedy-drama; and ironically a production of the BBC.

I was about to fire off a “misidentified Black person” email to the Washington Post today (if Undercover Blackman didn’t beat me to it), over Robin Givhan’s story about the Glamour [Magazine] Women of the Year awards which were held in New York this past week. [btw - the Glamour awards throw substance ahead of the do's and don'ts of style on this one.]

At the top of the story is a photo of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice with her hair in an up-do and just glowing - on a Halle Berry level. I really didn’t recognize her. As Robin says, “Frankly, she might have been glowing — in an ‘I’m going back to Cali’ sort of way’.” But then again I wonder. I haven’t been following Secretary Condoleezza Rice’s happiness track, but I do recall two big smiling moments: The 2003 “Mission Accomplished” landing on the USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier with soon-to-be-former President George W. Bush, and in 2005 shortly after her appointment as Secretary of State in what my friend E-Bert called her Trinity look a la “The Matrix.” [See Robin's column from February 24, 2005.] I still love those boots.

Then there’s this semi-recent moment:

I met Condoleeza Rice once, a few months after 9-11. She was very formal and guarded in her demeaner, and perhaps I shouldn’t have expected anything more at the time. She has probably soldiered the current administration’s doctrines [warts and all] perhaps more faithfully than any of the career soldiers. History will be the judge of that as well. But for now, maybe Madame Secretary sees a change she believes in.